A Little Explanation Never Hurt Anyone

One of the biggest obstacles I have with working amongst nuero-typicals is the way they give out directions.  Yesterday I was given a task from my boss that I didn’t understand so when I went to ask for assistance  he goes “ Do A, B, and C add those together and you get D as the total and then sent me away.  While these instructions would have been adequate to the average person for someone like myself it came across as nothing more than meaningless words.  One if I knew the answer I wouldn’t have bothered asking in the first place and two being a person with Autism I would have gained a fuller understanding of what the step by step methodology was to reach the final result. It is important to remember that each person learns differently and sometimes you need to modify a lesson to meet ones individual need. No one is too busy that they can’t take five minutes out of the day to teach someone the proper way of doing something. A little clarification never hurt any one.  It is better to make sure you get a whole understanding of something before making a mistake and having to start something all over again.

Thank you for reading!

Autistic Female

2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,200 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

My Weigh in on Weight

NEVER JUDGE ANOTHER HUMAN BASED ON THEIR WEIGHT!! There are other factors that contribute to a persons size and it’s not always about poor food choices. Unless you know a persons story sit back and zip it! If you want to help someone get fit and healthier try motivational sayings like “you can do it” instead of just talking and being nasty Iike ” just drop 100+ lbs” All too often people are so quick to judge someone based on their outward appearance and I just find that to be so shallow and disgusting.  Overweight people are just that people. Everyone has emotions and feels pain. If one can take anything away from this post it would be to think about really stop and think before you make a judgement on someone.  Ask yourself  “How would I like it if someone made negative judgements about me? ” My guess is you wont feel so great either.  Just remember that the next time you feel yourself about to say something mean.  

Thank you for reading!

Autistic Female

Let’s walk for Autism

Please help  sponsor me and my team in this years Long Island Walk for Autism. No donation is too big or small and every little bit helps. Together we can help find the mystery behind Autism Spectrum Disorders.  Much love and thanks for your generosity to this honorable cause 

 

http://www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=1012277&lis=1&kntae1012277=DA59D4290754491DAAE90F104C83E6AB&supId=0&team=5161333&nmv=true

 

Thank you for reading!

Autistic Female

 

Calling all Autistic women

This one is for the ladies!! How many of my followers are working Professional women on the Autism Spectrum? And if so what is your job?  I am a database designer located in NYC!

Thank you for reading

Autistic Female

For my Valentine

Over the past three months I have started dating a wonderful man that treats me like a queen. When we first met each other on a set up blind date I wasn’t really looking for anyone and didn’t really like him either.  I was still guarded from my previous breakup and thus didn’t give him the chance he deserved. After many conversations later I don’t know what happened but we became friends and feelings started to grow. 

He doesn’t care that I have autism and actually helps me work through my off days.  He might possibly know me better than I do as he is usually already aware of when I need quiet time before I say anything.   When we were at his New Years Eve party he could tell that I was becoming overwhelmed and we went outside until I was ready to rejoin the other guests.   

Now that I am in a relationship I finally understand that when you surround yourself with genuine people they will judge you only on personality and if you’re lucky like I am they will help you work on your imperfections.

 

The Wakeup Call

Hello world!! It is great to be back after almost taking a yearlong leave of absence. The time I spent in disconnect has helped me to learn amore about myself though better examining.  While I thought I could dupe those around me into thinking I am a happy individual the truth is I’m not good at a poker face.  Every emotion or annoyance I was feeling showed up on my face and in my actions.  Every day I woke up feeling like a volcano ready to erupt at someone who said or did the wrong thing. Little did I know that this dramatic change almost created some major issues for me at work.  My mentor told me that my bosses were starting to notice how short I was with people which may have hurt my progress within the company.  Although I was unhappy at work during that time and didn’t really care my wakeup call came when I was standing on the train platform and I said to a man I ride the train with “will you shut the (insert curse word here) up?” At that moment I knew I needed to make an appointment with my Autism Specialist. Now that I am on a new trial and error regimen I invite you all on my journey to find my way back to peace.

Thank you for reading!!

Autistic Female

A Different Voice

The most common myth about Autism that really ruffles my feathers states that “people on the Autism Spectrum cannot communicate” I think it is quite sad that we live in a world where technology provides us with information at the ready and yet society still holds tight to old age beliefs.  As an individual who understands Autism all too well, allow me to enlighten you as to how this theory holds no validity

Communication happens in various forms and no one way is better than the next.  The deaf interact by using Sign Language and the blind with Braille. Individuals with Autism are capable of communicating with the world but their method of doing so maybe different.  While many are able to vocalize their thoughts others often benefit from the use of pictorial cards.  It does not really matter at all how one converses; the point is it can be accomplished through years of practice and patience.

Growing up in a large Asian Italian family, social gatherings were inevitable.  Despite the fact that everyone around me seems to live for such occasions, for me it is the second most dreaded item next to a toothache.  For starters, I am by no means a fan of loud noises so when both sides of the family come together it is like a rock band meeting at a New York City protest.  I cannot focus as all I hear is loudness attacking me in every direction. Though only a few family members are able to accept this, I have learned that when I am in situations like the one mentioned about it is safest for me to revert back inside my turtle shell to prevent a meltdown.

Many people do not and may never be able to understand this concept, but it is not always a conscious effort to not speak with someone.  There are numerous times when I feel the need to defend myself against others but I physically cannot do so.  These impediments are beyond my control and I learned the best solution is to just ride it out.  However, it does not mean that I am an idiot and haven’t got a clue as to what is happening in the environment around me. My ability to use my voice may not always work but my ears do. I listen to everything people say about or around me and I have formed opinions to go along with what I’ve heard.  After all, the last time I checked listening was also a key player in the game of socialization.

Although I am a verbal Autistic, the most effective platform of letting others know what I am feeling is through written words.  I’m an open book of ideas and more often than not, my brain acts like the energizer bunny.  Normally, I think faster than I am able to speak which unfortunately results in everything coming out in one garbled message to which no one else quite understands.  To make matters worse, I usually cannot remember what I’ve just said because my mind has already moved onto different subjects. I love the simple fact that writing allows me to jot down anything at the exact moment it pops into my head.  It is not anxiety provoking as having a face to face with someone and I can leisurely take my time to process my thoughts and form them into rational statements that are comprehensible by all.  This might seem to most like a waste of everyone’s time but it is important to remember that some of the greatest people in history used inscriptions to convey their messages.

As one can see there are many variations in which humans express to others how they are feeling.  I think that if people were more open to individuality and embraced ones differences than the world would be a more peaceful place.  All too often, society (myself included) runs away from what scares them and in return end up missing an opportunity to learn something. The most important thing to remember is that just because things are done differently doesn’t mean its wrong.

Thank you for reading!!

Autistic Female

Just go with it

On Saturday I had a very difficult time trying to cope with my Autism.  From the minute I stepped out of bed I started to stim.  In my opinion this occurred at the most inopportune time because I had a list of obligations which required me to leave the house.  If there is one thing I am good at it is fighting the fight and pushing forward so that is exactly what I did.

I admit that I love to eat as I find it to be one of the best comforts around.  It does not talk back to me and is almost always the perfect closure to a bad day. Thinking this would provide some sort of resolution my sister and cousin took me to the local pizza shop for a ladies lunch.  While I usually end up feeling better afterword all that was resolved was my hunger level.  I still could not stop stimming and I was getting extremely frustrated.

When I arrived at the hair salon I was exhausted and longed to be home where I can go enter my own world.  Mom did not get food with us so when she saw me her automatic reaction was “What is bothering you because your hands are  shaking”  I told her that I was having one of my “off” days and I could not stop it no matter how hard I tried.  She told me that everyone has their days and that it was okay to feel out of sorts.  I don’t usually like waiting on a normal day so when I am not myself my tolerance is much lower.  Not wanting to get arrested for acting irrationally I picked up a gossip magazine and read the inside articles. I realized that this fluff magazine redirected my focus and for a few minutes I even started to stim a little less.

The minute I arrived at my house I felt as though I had won the state lottery jackpot.  I longed for it all day and now that I was finally in my safe haven I treasured it even more. I was able to stop fighting with myself and go off to a world of my own.   There is something very comforting to me about being home when I have hard day dealing with my Autism.  It is the best place  in the world as I am loved unconditionally without  judgment.

Thank you for reading!!

Autistic Female

Fireworks

Happy Birthday America!!!  For many years the fourth of July was a torturous punishment to me.  While I adored the classic family barbecue tradition, I absolutely dreaded the annual neighborhood fireworks show.

Until the time leading up to my middle teens I was never able to get through the day without a meltdown.  I have extreme sensitivity to certain noises and I am definitely not a big fan of booming.  Every year when the festivities began I would lose all control I had over myself.  It was not uncommon  for people to see me running around the house screaming covering my ears.  I remember in the past feeling ashamed at myself that here everyone else around me was having a grand old time and I was not able to do the same.

As I write tonight I am proud to say that while I still do not particularly like the noise that comes with it, I am at a place now where I am comfortable enough to enjoy them with my family.  Do not get me wrong though,  this was not an over night success but rather a result thanks to many years of therapy. Although I complained about going I am thankful now that I went.  Each session I was dragged too I learned how to deal with sounds that bothered me in an appropriate manner.

Trying to find the right intervention is like playing a game of chess.  You need a strategy with a back up plan if the one you tried did not work out.  If you are struggling with a similar situation my best advice would be to keep trying different programs until you find one that works for you.  It is a long process but the end result is well worth the journey.

Thank you for reading!!

Autistic Female

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