Autistic Female's Blog

I had a meltdown today. For about 10 minutes, every thought I’d been holding inside came pouring out like a volcano. I honestly don’t even remember half of what I said, and I’m pretty sure most of it didn’t make much sense.

When I’m at that point, the worst thing someone can do is try to reason with me. My brain has already shut down. I’m not processing what’s being said—it’s just more noise that adds to the sensory overload.

The most helpful thing you can do is give me space, let me regulate, and allow me to cool down on my own. Once my nervous system settles, then we can talk.

Meltdowns aren’t tantrums or a choice. They’re what happens when my brain has reached its limit. Living with autism isn’t always predictable, but understanding and patience make all the difference. 💙

This weekend I surprised myself by how well I did participating in social activities two days in a row.

Saturday was date night so my boyfriend and I went to go see one of our favorite comedians Vic Dibitetto perform stand up at one of the local theaters. I finally learned that when getting tickets to any show or sporting event it works bust for me to buy aisle seats at the end or beginning of the row so I am not sandwiched in between two people increasing my chances of experiencing sensory and/or anxiety issues. I was able to enjoy both the show and our time together.

Yesterday we went out to a BBQ. A no brainer decision for almost everyone else in the world was the hardest one in mine. Lucky for me he has patience of a saint and just sits there and lets me vocalize all my thoughts and reservations. I ended up going because after all I don’t want him to not be able to see his friends. I had fun even though did not stay the whole time because I reached my limit and needed to go home to relax for work.

Happy Monday Everybody!

My parents are slowly starting to teach me important life skills such as how to cook so that I may live semi independently one day. Tonight I learned to sautee peppers & onions! I did not set the house on fire and they ended up tasting delicious! I may not be able to make a full meal but it is a start and I am proud of myself for what I accomplished! 

UPDATE: I wrote this years back but the information still holds true to this day. I encourage any newly college graduate on the Autism Spectrum and their families to read this blog to help make the next transition in life a bit smoother.

Not to long ago I was in the same position as a lot of people are right now. I spent hours on end sending out resumes praying that the dream job would come knocking on my door. It is during this time which I came up with a few tips to help ease the rocky road of the interview process.

1) Have an experienced member of the work force look over your resume. What looks good to the average person may not be exactly what a company is looking for.

2) Go to your local library or book store and get a book of interview questions. There will be many different types so take time to look over each book and pick one that works for you.

3) It is a great idea to highlight or post it note questions that are appropriate for you. Remember interview books are meant to serve a wide range of people.

4) Write out each question on a legal pad or word document. Sit down with a family member or friend and come up with relevant appropriate answers to each question.

5) Buy a binder and protective cover sheets to put your study sheets in. That way you will always have a reference for quick reviews.

6) Rehearse , Rehearse and Rehearse. Since many Autistic’s need constant repetition while trying to gain new skills the same needs to be applied with learning how to interview. Practice every single day until you feel comfortable answering every question. Given the fact that not all interviewers will phrase everything the same way it is beneficial for you if the person you’re studying with reworded some questions.

7) Go on the interview and discuss relevant commonalities. It will help ease the tension in the air but most importantly it will show that you have knowledge on other subjects other than what is being asked of you. For example on the place of my current employment my old boss grew up in the same home town so I spoke about that with him for a majority of the time.

8 ) Write a thank you email the same day. This will keep your name fresh in the mind of the employer and show that you are serious about wanting a job. Even if things did not pan out as smoothly as planned you still want to show that you handle yourself professionally. Also you never know if you will encounter this person again later down the road.

9) Take rejection graciously. I know this is hard to do when by nature our first instinct is to get defensive but it is extremely important not to have a verbal altercation with the person on the other end of the phone. Keep your response short but sweet and then after you hang up feel free to vent to someone you trust.

I hope that you can take these tips and use them to your advantage no matter what point of the interview process you are in. Like everything else it is something that takes practice until you get it perfect. Good luck!

Good luck & Thank you for reading!
Autistic Female

Dear Mommy:

Happy Mothers Day! While everyone claims to have the “best mother” I know for a fact that they have nothing on you because as an Autism Spectrum Mommy you are in a class of awesome all on your own. God(or deity of your choice if not Catholic) decided you were one of his strongest warriors and gave you the honor of being a parent to a daughter with special needs.

As my mommy you are on the job around the clock without pay and you still find the ability to smile even on the days when Autism is giving us both a swift kick in the butt. From the time you realized my delays in not reaching standard milestones you made it your mission to get me whatever it takes to be a productive member of society instead of having my mind waste away in an institution somewhere. No and “she will grow out of it” was never an acceptable answer. You took me to the best specialists in the country and ultimately fought the entire education system until they gave me a diagnosis and services as required by the disability laws. 

Although I use to tell you how you were the absolute worst person on the planet for forcing me to go to all those interventional therapies now that I am an adult I don’t regret going for a single one of them. Actually that is a lie because I still have a strong dislike toward my then behavioral therapist. Just mentioning that title makes my stomach turn upside down which isn’t a bad thing considering I would do well to lose a few pounds. Okay now that I got that out of the way in all seriousness I am so thankful for the battles you have fought and continue to still fight for me. You’re dedication allowed me to graduate from college with a Bachelors of Science Degree in Information Management Technology and get a full time job in New York City! I still have a lot more life skills to learn but with the biggest hurdles out of the way the rest is all Icing on the cake.

I LOVE YOU MOMMY!

From your Daughter,

Autistic Female

The one thing I hate in life more than going to the dentist is change. I resist against it to the umpteenth degree and loudly voice my discontentment. Being the only one of my kind in a Neurotypical family, I frequently get the response of “just go/move forward with it” or “stop being difficult on purpose”. I love them but it is very frustrating for me that they expect me to see and react to things their way when they do not even consider mine.

This past summer I learned that night before leaving for family vacation that my sister was pregnant with her first child. While everyone was idiotically overjoyed to me it was bad news and an inopportune timing. It was the thorn that popped my happy bubble and ruined my entire trip. It was too late for a back out option and now I was stuck with family for seven days in a beach house. They kept asking me what I thought about the future addition and I kept promptly responding “Do you honestly expect me to be happy about that? Because if you do your kidding yourself! They hated my responses and I hated all of them so it made for a fun week of awkward meals and overall avoidance. 

Before anyone starts pointing the finger or judging me it is important to understand that Autism and change will never mix. It is my natural enemy that I can never fully be prepared for despite the many years of intervention I have under my belt. In my world everything runs on structure including the rare few I allow inside. Each member is given a specified rank & purpose that is designated to them for life. In my mind adding a new member into my pact is like rebuilding a house after a natural disaster. The foundation is gone and I am forced to start over from scratch rearranging everything to determine where this new member will be able to fit inside.

Since my nephew’s arrival about two months ago not too much has changed in my immediate environment but I am still trying to come to terms with the fact that he will actually be here on a permanent basis. He has won over my heart and I think he is adorable but my comfort level is not quite there yet. For now I just keep to myself and stare at him when he is near me. That will come with time as we both get to know each other on our own terms. I am just happy with the realization that my pack is still a tight unit and no one has been replaced.

Thank you for reading my blog!

Autistic Female