Yes I am Autistic and Yes I have emotions

The most common misconception about Autism that really gets my blood boiling is the one that states ” Individuals with Autism can not show affection”  It bothers me that we live in the age of the Internet where information is readily available at our finger tips and people still deem this to be true.  What many do not understand is that we can show affection but how we do so is different.

Coming from a large Asian Italian family everyone is obsessed with giving hugs and kisses.  They perceive hugs as a sign of respect and take it personally when they do not get one.   I on the other hand am more reserved with my emotions and to me a hug is an invasion of my space.  While most families accept individuality, mine treat it as if it is a crime punishable by law.  There were countless family fights over me because they tried to get me to conform to their standards.  I’ve got an aunt and uncle who scarred me so much from my childhood that to this day I still dread every time I have go over the house.  They constantly made fun of me and on top of that actually felt in a position to  judge and call me the “cold fish”  To them I was defiant because I never  gave a hug or spoke a word when I was in their presence.  Autistic or not, if someone is not treating you well you would not want to associate with them either.

On the other side of the token we have my grandfather who is very open minded and accepting.  He was able to fully understand my issues and being a salesman treats my visits as if I am a potential customer.  He’s patient with me and knows to let me initiate things first instead of starting things when I am not ready.  For example, while we can talk for hours on end about nothing in-particular he waits for me to say the first words.  Most of all though he never gets angry if I just visit and don’t say anything.  He knows it is not a sign of disrespect but rather a sign that I need to be left alone in my own little world.  Actually out of all my family that I see most often I have the best relationship with him because he does not try to tweak me.

Basically what it all come down to is acceptance and comfort level.  If you want to have a successful relationship with an Autistic individual it is best to let them seek you out first.  Do not forget that we process stimulus differently so what is seen as aloofness to the average eye is really our way of sorting everything out.  It is not a good idea to be pushy because that can cause them to shut down which is the opposite result of what you are trying to achieve.

Thank you for reading!

Autistic Female


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: