First off let me start by saying thank God it is the weekend as I can finally unwind and re-center myself. Anyway, the one thing I can never get accustomed to is life’s unpredictable events. Over the past week and a half my world seemed like a natural disaster I could not control.
While many people can naturally adapt to unexpected changes it is something I can not handle well. A family emergency occurred and my structured schedule went on the back burner in order to fix the imperative situation at hand. Today I hit my breaking point and for the first time in years I had a melt down in public. I was out doing last-minute Christmas shopping when mom reminded me I needed to buy a gift for someone I am not very fond of. I can not explain exactly what happened next but it was like a volcano erupted inside of me and every emotion I was hiding spewed out. I thought faster than I could speak and it came across like one big garbled message to which my family had to sort out.
When I am in a meltdown I lose all consciousness of where I am or what is going on around me. Apparently it was worse than I thought as people were starting to stare at me voice my discontent. Mom immediately removed me from the situation and took me outside to recompose myself. After a few minutes I was back to my old self and we went home for the day.
One of the biggest issues I have that I’m trying hard to work on is vocalizing when I am at the end of my rope and need to relax. Luckily, I was in the presence of a family member and not at my place of business.
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Autistic Female
Autistic Female's Blog 