Today I am having what I call a “mini” meltdown. It is not like one of my full blown ones as I am not crying for hours on end. With a mini I am feeling frustrated, overstimulated and cranky. Anyway, starting this afternoon my sisters future in-laws are coming over to the house to visit and celebrate Fathers Day. While everyone is happy and excited I am not liking the idea at all. I never met them before and the thought of two strangers entering my safe haven is giving me an extremely high level of anxiety. My parents think I am being ridiculous but they simply do not comprehend a few concepts. One I am not being defensive or difficult on purpose I am just trying to protect myself from the pending change that is about to occur. The second is that socializing is a stressful task for me to begin with and now I am being forced to do it. Since most of my family rejected me for being Autistic I learned at a young age to just keep everything bottled up inside and not say too much. Even to this day when I have to talk to people I get nervous because I don’t know how they will perceive me. Although my guard is up sky high I am going to try and keep a positive attitude that everything will run smoothly.
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Autistic Female
Autistic Female's Blog 