The Unhappy Germaphobic

One of the biggest issues about being outside my comfort zones is dealing with a germ and bacteria ridden environment. While a lot of people are able to control their idiosyncrasies I usually get tense to the point where I feel physically ill.

On my top ten list I would have to go ahead and say that the mass transit system is a major culprit.  Since I live way out in the suburbs it is my only means of transportation.  In any case , the point is everyday for almost 90 minutes I sit in an incubator of viral plague.  Everyone either coughs or sneezes which only contributes to my already heightened level of anxiety.

A perfect example would be an event that happened this week.  I was on my way home from work when the train decided to inconvenience me and make two additional stops to pick up passengers. Let me just say I felt like I was waiting in the sick patient room at a doctor’s office.  I felt like each rider had a motive to infect others with disease.  I got stuck in a state of repulsiveness which I could not snap out of.  In fact I actually started to get overheated but I knew I had to hold it together when I really wanted to jump out of the emergency window. Finally after an agonizing ride I made it home without getting arrested or causing a public scene.

While many people have the ability to take life’s annoyances and move on it is something that I struggle with and can not help but to perseverate on the  object of my discontent.  I hope that as time goes by I can learn to remove myself mentally from this annoyance and try to enjoy my commute back to my home and safe haven.

Thank you for reading!

Autistic Female


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