Autistic Female's Blog

This month has been one long test of social interactions.  Each week I’ve  had events that have forced me out of my comfort zone and into the world of others.  Although some did not go as smoothly as I had planned, I learned that I am capable of doing almost anything if I work hard at it.

One gathering that turned out exceptionally well for me was my sister’s engagement party.  The place was hot, small, and the noise level had to be at least one trillion decibels.  Aside from these three infractions, I was able to hold it together and participate in the activities of the night.  I even surprised myself by feeling comfortable enough to say hello and converse with those guests  that I did not know well.  I did not have a lengthy conversation with anyone, I only said enough so as not to come across as rude.  Just letting people shake my hand was a big step for be because normally my neurotic fear of catching germs and bacterial disease makes me squeamish of those outside my inner circle.

Out of all the commitments I went to the most anxiety provoking was attending my boss’ wedding.   It was a new experience  for me as it was the first party I ever attended on my own.  Although I sat at a table with my co-workers I still had to act the part and pretend that all the stimulus in the surrounding environment was not bothering me.  I never disclosed to anyone that I have Autism so it would be seen as weird and rude if I went home early or sat outside by myself on one of the couches. This was the ultimate challenge for me that I knew I had to pass.  I basically treated the party as a regular working day.  I socialized with the people at my table and excused myself to the ladies room when I needed a break to regain my composure.

Being able to successfully navigate myself through these two very high anxiety situations has reaffirmed how far I have come from my painful and confusing childhood years.  I still have lots more work to do and realize that I can do things that I once thought impossible.

Thank you for reading!

Autistic Female